I'm not superstitious, am I dear?

I went to Safeway today. I needed a couple of things that I just couldn't ask someone else to buy. As I was putting my credit card through the machine the checker, Julie, asked me how I was. I answered with a smile "great", thinking she really didn't need to know the details of my life. And then I had a flash. So, I back pedalled a little and told her, "Hmmm, twelve years ago I was standing in line here and I got into conversation with another customer. I told him that things couldn't be better in my life. The next day, my husband Andy had a heart attack." And then I explained to her that I wasn't really superstitious but I am careful about saying stuff like that anymore... even though I feel happy to be alive. [Which right now I feel like I am walking on a tightrope but I'll write it anyway].

However, the point of this whole blog is that Julie gave me a big smile and said, "you're afraid you are going to jinx yourself, aren't you?" And I nodded a little nod because I hate to admit it. I am well educated and shouldn't have these primitive feelings. And her response is what got her in my blog today. She said, "well, now you've told someone so you've broken the jinx!" And this got me to thinking about a time many, many years ago when Sonia was probably about 4 years old. She came home from nursery school one day and one thing led to another and before you know it she was telling me she had a secret. By the way she said it I could tell it wasn't a good secret. Oh, my heart dropped down to my feet and I felt like a parent who is about to hear that a terrible, horrible unspeakable thing had happened at school. And things had been happening around the Bay area with child abductions and daycare providers. Well, at first she simply wouldn't say. But, I finally convinced her that if she told me what the terrible secret was, maybe it would be okay. And then she told me she was having a terrible dream. Oh, my gracious. My heart went back into my bosom and I relaxed a little. But being the child of Freud worshipping parents I still needed to know what terrible dreams she was having. And I promised her that if she told me what the dream was, she would never have it again. So she told me. A giant chipmunk! She was having a nightmare about a giant chipmunk that was scaring her. And I told her he would never come back. And he didn't. She never had that dream again. So Julie, thank you for freeing me from worrying about saying things are good. Thank you for helping me remember how good it is to share things with people. I'm in a good place and happy to be there. Yayyy!