Honestly, I thought my "Crazy, Sexy, Cancer Goddess" tee shirt was pretty straight forward. All right, there was that man at the Cheesecake Factory who didn't get it. But he truly didn't get it so he asked what it meant. And I told him it meant that I have cancer but I'm still cool. And then he got it.
But today made me laugh. Sonia and I had a very productive day at the optometrist and the jewelry store (my watch needed its calendar reset, no jewelry purchases were made). As we were at Broadway Plaza we decided to have lunch at Nordstrom. Up we went to the 3rd floor cafe. We chose our meals, ordered at the counter and then found ourselves a nice table. The server, Sarah, came over to pick up our receipt so she would know what to bring us. And then it happened. She could see my shirt said something but she didn't know what. So she asked me what it said. I opened up my sweater a little wider displaying the text. She smiled a big smile and said in a very animated voice, "oh, I love it" Then she turned to another server and said, "Michelle, look at this tee shirt. She is a Cancer too!" Sonia looked horrified and I gave her The Look. Don't say anything it said. I smiled and we all enjoyed the moment. After they stepped away we tried to decide if there was anything we could have done to right the misunderstanding. And we decided our only course was to stay silent. But then I needed to powder my nose and I left Sonia behind. While I was gone Sarah returned and wanted to know what my exact birthday was. Poor Sonia, she had no idea what month a Cancer is so she told the young woman the truth. And Sarah was mortified. Sonia told her not to give it a second thought but I felt so sorry for her. She kind of stayed away for a while but we did get our meal, it was tasty and she did ultimately talk to us again, although no signs of the Zodiac were mentioned.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
OUCH!
I have a confession to make. I don't always listen to good advice. I am like the obstinate child that must touch that hot surface after being warned about getting burned. I've always been like that. Once, when I was probably about 7 or 8, I was out lighting lanterns at construction sites in the San Fernando Valley with my daddy. He was a public health educator with the Los Angeles County Health Department but, like many other dads who had grown up during the depression, he had a moonlight job on Saturdays and Sundays, lighting these lanterns. This was before the era of battery run flashing lights that protected people from driving into ditches. I'm trying to think what year this must have been. Probably 1956 or 1957. Sometimes Daddy would take us, his three daughters, with him to give Mama a little rest. This was back in the olden days when the porta potties at construction sites were wooden and precarious and smelly. But we had no problem using them. I guess that is why I have no problem using them at marathons. It is like the good old days, only better. But I digress. The San Fernando Valley was being build up then, farms were being replaced by subdivisions of American dream ranch homes and commercial buildings and three little girls could find fun things to do at these construction sites while Daddy filled the glass and metal lanterns or the black round "bombs" (that is what we called them) with kerosene. They would burn through the night and next day and then Daddy would be back Sunday night for one more lighting before the construction work started again on Monday. The workers would light the lanterns before they went home each night during the week.
Anyway, one Saturday Daddy had a long stretch of lanterns to light. He drove a 1952 maroon Ford stationwagon and he left the tailgate down so he could jump out and fill the lanterns as he drove along the street. I convinced him that I could ride on the tailgate, with my legs hanging in space, and it would be safe. He was driving very slowly, I could see it. He told me, whatever I did, I mustn't jump off the tailgate, until he came to a full and complete stop. I agreed to this condition. But wouldn't you know. After the second or third stop, my sense of adventure overcame me. I thought of all the TV programs I had seen where people jumped out of cars that were going much faster than my daddy was driving and nothing happened. So, without so much as holler, I jumped. And oh, my goodness, it hurt! Nothing was broken and really, I just suffered abrasions, but was my daddy unhappy with me! And I kind of learned a lesson. If I was going to be naughty, I would have to be much more discrete! Sigh.
So why am I telling you this? Because even though they tell you to use soft bristled tooth brushes, I have continued to use my electric tooth brush. And this week my gums bled a little when I brushed my teeth. And my gums were just kind of sore. Mumbling and grumbling, I finally broke down and bought a soft bristled tooth brush. But still the gums were a bit sore. Then it occured to me. Even though I use Sensodyne toothpaste, it is the strong, fancy dancy formula that whiten, brightens and makes you a millionaire. Well, maybe not the last one. So maybe I need the old fashioned Sensodyne that just gets rid of the debris left in your mouth. And off I go, back to Longs/CVS to get a kinder, gentler toothpaste. And low and behold, today, my mouth feels a whole lot better and there is no blood. And I could have avoided all this if I had just listened. But not me, no sir. I must come from Missouri!
Anyway, one Saturday Daddy had a long stretch of lanterns to light. He drove a 1952 maroon Ford stationwagon and he left the tailgate down so he could jump out and fill the lanterns as he drove along the street. I convinced him that I could ride on the tailgate, with my legs hanging in space, and it would be safe. He was driving very slowly, I could see it. He told me, whatever I did, I mustn't jump off the tailgate, until he came to a full and complete stop. I agreed to this condition. But wouldn't you know. After the second or third stop, my sense of adventure overcame me. I thought of all the TV programs I had seen where people jumped out of cars that were going much faster than my daddy was driving and nothing happened. So, without so much as holler, I jumped. And oh, my goodness, it hurt! Nothing was broken and really, I just suffered abrasions, but was my daddy unhappy with me! And I kind of learned a lesson. If I was going to be naughty, I would have to be much more discrete! Sigh.
So why am I telling you this? Because even though they tell you to use soft bristled tooth brushes, I have continued to use my electric tooth brush. And this week my gums bled a little when I brushed my teeth. And my gums were just kind of sore. Mumbling and grumbling, I finally broke down and bought a soft bristled tooth brush. But still the gums were a bit sore. Then it occured to me. Even though I use Sensodyne toothpaste, it is the strong, fancy dancy formula that whiten, brightens and makes you a millionaire. Well, maybe not the last one. So maybe I need the old fashioned Sensodyne that just gets rid of the debris left in your mouth. And off I go, back to Longs/CVS to get a kinder, gentler toothpaste. And low and behold, today, my mouth feels a whole lot better and there is no blood. And I could have avoided all this if I had just listened. But not me, no sir. I must come from Missouri!
WALKING
I was out on a mission last night. Delivering to my friend Liz library books that had been returned to the Walnut Creek Library, but belonged to our Walnut Creek schools. A neighbor, Jerry, who obviously reads this blog, was returning home in his car. He stopped, asked me if I needed a ride. I smiled and said no. He offered again and alluded to the blog where I created a game of getting a ride to shul. I smiled again and assured him that I really, really wanted to walk. I promised him that I would duly note this event in my blog. Sometimes, a walk is just a walk. But thanks for the offer, Jerry!
Monday, April 27, 2009
My appreciation for the nursing profession grows
Well, I thought I was really on a roll. I can do my own injections. I am all powerful. It isn't rocket science. Wait, maybe it is. Rocket Science. Maybe it does take a special talent, a certain knack. Maybe there is a reason I was always the last person picked for the softball team. Hmmmm....
My Morning.
I rolled out of bed a little later than usual this morning. I also went to bed a little late last night. I was trying to finish a book and Sonia was working so hard on her project I felt like I'd like to stay up with her if I could. But I didn't. Still, I got a good night's sleep. But when I woke up it was about the time I usually have my injection. So I skipped downstairs, pulled a vial from the refrigerator and carefully laid out my equipment. Now, I want to say at this point that I wasn't hurrying, I wasn't nervous and I had the instructions in front of me the whole time. I always just read the instructions as I go along because I know how easy it is, once you are comfortable doing something, to inadvertently skip a step. So, I began by preparing the needle. And I bent it. Sigh! I put it in my sharps container and got out a new one. Very carefully now I continued by pulling the Neupogen into the needle. Oops, a little bit of air and not all the medication. Re inject into vial (no, I hadn't pulled the needle out of the vial yet) and then carefully, carefully I pull the plunger out and suck the meds in....and I pull the plunger out too far and some of the Neupogen drips onto my work surface. Yikes. This is expensive stuff! I can't just go down and ask for a new vial. Oh, my gosh, what have I done? Well, I try to remain calm. No, I do remain calm and continue with the routine. I realize that little drips look like a lot of liquid and there is just about the right amount in the needle. So I continue and inject myself. No pain. No fainting. No more of this. I'm going back to my professional staff. I need at least one more set of hands to work with that needle. I thought I would grow proficient with practice but apparently this is not the case. Sigh.
My Morning.
I rolled out of bed a little later than usual this morning. I also went to bed a little late last night. I was trying to finish a book and Sonia was working so hard on her project I felt like I'd like to stay up with her if I could. But I didn't. Still, I got a good night's sleep. But when I woke up it was about the time I usually have my injection. So I skipped downstairs, pulled a vial from the refrigerator and carefully laid out my equipment. Now, I want to say at this point that I wasn't hurrying, I wasn't nervous and I had the instructions in front of me the whole time. I always just read the instructions as I go along because I know how easy it is, once you are comfortable doing something, to inadvertently skip a step. So, I began by preparing the needle. And I bent it. Sigh! I put it in my sharps container and got out a new one. Very carefully now I continued by pulling the Neupogen into the needle. Oops, a little bit of air and not all the medication. Re inject into vial (no, I hadn't pulled the needle out of the vial yet) and then carefully, carefully I pull the plunger out and suck the meds in....and I pull the plunger out too far and some of the Neupogen drips onto my work surface. Yikes. This is expensive stuff! I can't just go down and ask for a new vial. Oh, my gosh, what have I done? Well, I try to remain calm. No, I do remain calm and continue with the routine. I realize that little drips look like a lot of liquid and there is just about the right amount in the needle. So I continue and inject myself. No pain. No fainting. No more of this. I'm going back to my professional staff. I need at least one more set of hands to work with that needle. I thought I would grow proficient with practice but apparently this is not the case. Sigh.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
In my last blog I spoke about being busy. That might have been a bit of an exaggeration. I was busy being worn out and feeling a bit queasy and just a tad under the weather. And is it coincidence that my chemo was this week? I think not!
This time around Andy wasn't here to share the joy. He is off to Europe as is his custom after filing season. And before anyone starts making big eyes and saying anything about his leaving in my "time of need" let me assure you, I pushed him out of the nest. I look forward to my two weeks of bachelorette time at least as much as Andy looks forward to his travel. And who knows what he might bring me back as a present? Oh, gee, I am such a material girl. Sigh!
While he is gone, Sonia graciously agreed to come stay with me. She is "lucky" that as a freelance editor, she can pretty much do her job wherever she is. As long as there is a table, two computers and a floor for her to work on. And fortunately for her there is also a cat to shred her work when she isn't looking.
Sonia arrived the day Andy left and the next day was chemo. She hasn't driven in a number of years (who needs a car in Chicago?). Fortunately, my rebbetzin, Shternie, had already offered to drive me to and from Kaiser on chemo day so we were good to go. We had coffee beforehand and Sonia and Shternie did some catching up. Chemo was the same as always. Saw some of the same patients. And met a person who is in the same clinical trial as I am only she is getting the Avistad. I tried very hard not to be jealous. She did kind of lord it over me a bit though. Hmmm, maybe that isn't true. I think I am just being resentful now. Whatever. I know I am getting good care. Because of the drop in white blood cell count the first time around I will have Neupogen injections for seven days following each chemo treatment. And guess what? Sonia offered, OFFERED (!) to give them to me. How can she be so cool about it when her parents are such wimps? Sometimes (luckily) the apple does fall a bit distant from the tree. Thursday morning she was up bright and early, reading the instructions, preparing the injection and then without a squeal or shriek, she plunged the needle into my abdomen and administered the shot! I was totally impressed. And inspired. And my neighbors, when they heard about it, sent over their congratulations. That she is able to do what her parents can't astonishes us all. However, once again, my competitive spirit started to rear its head. And after Sonia did it two mornings in a row, I got up extra early Saturday and decided I would "prepare" the injection equipment so we could get it done quickly, once she got up. I swabbed my abdomen in a new spot, took the plastic cap off the tiny vial, retracted the needle so air was pulled into the needle, plunged the needle into the vial and injected the vial with air. The needle and vial were then inverted so the vial was upside down. Now all that was left was to pull the Neupogen into the needle, get rid of the air bubbles and give myself the injection. Could I do it? Well, dear Reader, I could and I did! I amazed myself! Within a minute or so of giving myself the injection, Sonia came downstairs. When I told her what I had done she indicated that she was really proud of me. I felt very competent!
I figured that would be the hardest part of my chemo this time but once again I learn my lesson. Even though everything was pretty much the same, everything is also different. I guess my body is slowly being beaten down by all these chemicals and so it is a little harder and longer to bounce back. I am not having such severe digestive problems this time but it still seems like time stands still in my tummy. And this time, for the first time, I did feel a little queasy. Not real nausea, just that feeling you get when you know you are going to feel nauseated but haven't gotten there yet. It wasn't bad enough for me to take the compazine but bad enough that my appetite was off. And yet, I did my best to eat and drink. I am very good about getting the minimum of 2 to 3 quarts of liquid a day that I am required to drink to keep myself healthy during chemo. Between straight water, a smoothie, tisanes, soups and yogurt (anything that has liquid in it or can melt to liquid counts), I more than fill that requirement. I have one half caff latte a day but because there is some caffeine in it, it doesn't count. But one must have one's coffee, don't you know?
I've been reading a lot lately between sleeping and eating. Read another Daniel Silva and another two Maisie Dobbs. I am enjoying them so much. I like following a character that develops and grows. I love the settings of the Daniel Silva books. They take place in cities all over Europe. And the Maisie Dobbs setting is in mainly in London England and sometimes France between WWI and WWII. Lots of social commentary and historical context. I find them fascinating. Of course, the two series couldn't be more different. Silva's books are about an Israeli secret agent/assassin (he is the good guy) with lots of blood and gore. Maisie Dobbs is a sweet former war nurse who was brought up in a lower class household but goes into service as she enters her teens and is elevated to middle class when her employers discover she has a brain. Of course, it isn't that simple. And it is totally charming.
Life is very uncomplicated for me right now. Eat, sleep, go to Kaiser when the time is right and get those walks in. Nothing else is mandatory. I'm so relaxed it is practically sinful. I'll enjoy it while I can.
This time around Andy wasn't here to share the joy. He is off to Europe as is his custom after filing season. And before anyone starts making big eyes and saying anything about his leaving in my "time of need" let me assure you, I pushed him out of the nest. I look forward to my two weeks of bachelorette time at least as much as Andy looks forward to his travel. And who knows what he might bring me back as a present? Oh, gee, I am such a material girl. Sigh!
While he is gone, Sonia graciously agreed to come stay with me. She is "lucky" that as a freelance editor, she can pretty much do her job wherever she is. As long as there is a table, two computers and a floor for her to work on. And fortunately for her there is also a cat to shred her work when she isn't looking.
Sonia arrived the day Andy left and the next day was chemo. She hasn't driven in a number of years (who needs a car in Chicago?). Fortunately, my rebbetzin, Shternie, had already offered to drive me to and from Kaiser on chemo day so we were good to go. We had coffee beforehand and Sonia and Shternie did some catching up. Chemo was the same as always. Saw some of the same patients. And met a person who is in the same clinical trial as I am only she is getting the Avistad. I tried very hard not to be jealous. She did kind of lord it over me a bit though. Hmmm, maybe that isn't true. I think I am just being resentful now. Whatever. I know I am getting good care. Because of the drop in white blood cell count the first time around I will have Neupogen injections for seven days following each chemo treatment. And guess what? Sonia offered, OFFERED (!) to give them to me. How can she be so cool about it when her parents are such wimps? Sometimes (luckily) the apple does fall a bit distant from the tree. Thursday morning she was up bright and early, reading the instructions, preparing the injection and then without a squeal or shriek, she plunged the needle into my abdomen and administered the shot! I was totally impressed. And inspired. And my neighbors, when they heard about it, sent over their congratulations. That she is able to do what her parents can't astonishes us all. However, once again, my competitive spirit started to rear its head. And after Sonia did it two mornings in a row, I got up extra early Saturday and decided I would "prepare" the injection equipment so we could get it done quickly, once she got up. I swabbed my abdomen in a new spot, took the plastic cap off the tiny vial, retracted the needle so air was pulled into the needle, plunged the needle into the vial and injected the vial with air. The needle and vial were then inverted so the vial was upside down. Now all that was left was to pull the Neupogen into the needle, get rid of the air bubbles and give myself the injection. Could I do it? Well, dear Reader, I could and I did! I amazed myself! Within a minute or so of giving myself the injection, Sonia came downstairs. When I told her what I had done she indicated that she was really proud of me. I felt very competent!
I figured that would be the hardest part of my chemo this time but once again I learn my lesson. Even though everything was pretty much the same, everything is also different. I guess my body is slowly being beaten down by all these chemicals and so it is a little harder and longer to bounce back. I am not having such severe digestive problems this time but it still seems like time stands still in my tummy. And this time, for the first time, I did feel a little queasy. Not real nausea, just that feeling you get when you know you are going to feel nauseated but haven't gotten there yet. It wasn't bad enough for me to take the compazine but bad enough that my appetite was off. And yet, I did my best to eat and drink. I am very good about getting the minimum of 2 to 3 quarts of liquid a day that I am required to drink to keep myself healthy during chemo. Between straight water, a smoothie, tisanes, soups and yogurt (anything that has liquid in it or can melt to liquid counts), I more than fill that requirement. I have one half caff latte a day but because there is some caffeine in it, it doesn't count. But one must have one's coffee, don't you know?
I've been reading a lot lately between sleeping and eating. Read another Daniel Silva and another two Maisie Dobbs. I am enjoying them so much. I like following a character that develops and grows. I love the settings of the Daniel Silva books. They take place in cities all over Europe. And the Maisie Dobbs setting is in mainly in London England and sometimes France between WWI and WWII. Lots of social commentary and historical context. I find them fascinating. Of course, the two series couldn't be more different. Silva's books are about an Israeli secret agent/assassin (he is the good guy) with lots of blood and gore. Maisie Dobbs is a sweet former war nurse who was brought up in a lower class household but goes into service as she enters her teens and is elevated to middle class when her employers discover she has a brain. Of course, it isn't that simple. And it is totally charming.
Life is very uncomplicated for me right now. Eat, sleep, go to Kaiser when the time is right and get those walks in. Nothing else is mandatory. I'm so relaxed it is practically sinful. I'll enjoy it while I can.
Picnic Time
Forgive me. It has been over a week since I posted the last blog. It was pure indolence on my part. And this makes me think that I could never become a "real" writer. I have no self discipline. Sigh! But I have been busy, in a not so busy kind of way.
Before I go into that, though, I need to talk about the young people of today.....Or at least the young people on my cul de sac. As I have mentioned before, there is a group of people, friends in the neighborhood and at school, who have kindly offered to provide Andy and me with dinner twice a week, on Sundays and Wednesdays. I am very, very grateful to everyone who has brought over these meals. Last Sunday, however, I was overwhelmed by a bountiful feast provided by my young neighbors. They came over, Keeson and Bailee, Nick and Livi, Kathleen and their parents, with balloons and picnic baskets filled to overflowing with goodies too numerous to list (Maddie also contributed but couldn't make the presentation). Okay, I'm not going to list each individual item but I will mention a couple of the outstanding delectations made by these young people. Homemade vegetable sushi and a homemade challah were among the items we found in the baskets. And ravioli, bruscetta spread with a baguette, fresh fruit and much, much more. It was just too delightful. My impression was that this was done, not because the parents thought their offspring should do it, but because the kids wanted to. They each gave something that was their favorite and happily, they were my favorites too! They were gracious givers and very sweet. My friend Stan (former k-12 principal) had decided to drop by (with a chocolate obsession cake, flowers and a bottle of wine) so he was able to enjoy the production too. We all really appreciated what these kids had put together. I would like to think that these young people are just a representation of what most kids are like today. And maybe they are. But they obviously emulate what they see at home. Some of these children I have seen in other settings and they are always kind, considerate and respectful. These are just plain good kids. You can imagine how much I love my neighborhood and my neighbors. Thank you, thank you, all of you!
Before I go into that, though, I need to talk about the young people of today.....Or at least the young people on my cul de sac. As I have mentioned before, there is a group of people, friends in the neighborhood and at school, who have kindly offered to provide Andy and me with dinner twice a week, on Sundays and Wednesdays. I am very, very grateful to everyone who has brought over these meals. Last Sunday, however, I was overwhelmed by a bountiful feast provided by my young neighbors. They came over, Keeson and Bailee, Nick and Livi, Kathleen and their parents, with balloons and picnic baskets filled to overflowing with goodies too numerous to list (Maddie also contributed but couldn't make the presentation). Okay, I'm not going to list each individual item but I will mention a couple of the outstanding delectations made by these young people. Homemade vegetable sushi and a homemade challah were among the items we found in the baskets. And ravioli, bruscetta spread with a baguette, fresh fruit and much, much more. It was just too delightful. My impression was that this was done, not because the parents thought their offspring should do it, but because the kids wanted to. They each gave something that was their favorite and happily, they were my favorites too! They were gracious givers and very sweet. My friend Stan (former k-12 principal) had decided to drop by (with a chocolate obsession cake, flowers and a bottle of wine) so he was able to enjoy the production too. We all really appreciated what these kids had put together. I would like to think that these young people are just a representation of what most kids are like today. And maybe they are. But they obviously emulate what they see at home. Some of these children I have seen in other settings and they are always kind, considerate and respectful. These are just plain good kids. You can imagine how much I love my neighborhood and my neighbors. Thank you, thank you, all of you!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I went for my four mile walk this morning. Just Liz, Allen and me. It was a perfect day for a leisurely walk. We had to divert our course once we got close to the creek, (the city of Walnut Creek does have a creek named Walnut Creek) because of the multitudes of white flies that were swarming along the trail. So we did a loop around Broadway Plaza instead of going to the bridge at Ygnacio Road. The sky was clear and blue, it hadn't gotten too hot yet and the conversation had us in stitches. We may not be fast, but between the three of us we know how to make each other laugh.
After our walk I came home. I may have the energy to walk 4+ miles but each week I seem to run out of steam a little earlier than the prior week. I took a shower and got ready for shul. That was when I realized I wasn't going to walk there. I just didn't have it in me. And then I wasn't even sure I had it in me to drive. So I checked my email instead. Liz wanted a training schedule for Honolulu. I have been thinking about it and it was time to put it together. Which got me to thinking. In December I'll still be in chemo though just one drug instead of three. My radiation will have been over with for a couple of months. Can I get back into training and run or at least walk the marathon this year? I really, really want to do it but I also don't want to be stupid. I guess what will happen is that I will play it by ear, just see how I feel as the summer progresses and see if I can jump in in September and do the training over a shortened period of time. If I feel like it. That is pretty much what I did last summer and it worked quite well. I may surprise myself. And that, I realize, is what is bugging me. I am not going to try to prove anything to anyone. I won't be running for anyone except myself. If I can do it, I will, if I can't, I won't. And I won't apologize to anyone or myself if it works out that I can't run. I will just accept it and get on with my recovery and do the run next year. Simple thoughts, simple words. Now I will accept that and move on. If that happens I will enjoy being "coach" to anyone who does train. That is part of the training that I always wondered about. How could our coaches and program reps show up every week and watch us run and not feel cheated when the marathon came and they didn't run too? I could never really understand that. They always acted like they enjoyed being on the sidelines, cheering us on, giving us pretzels and water, making us feel like we were so special. If I end up with that job, will I feel cheated? I hope not. I hope I can do the coach thing gracefully and graciously.
The latest pictures are up. The top one is from a Relay for Life event in Tucson. Justine's son, Pat, participated and my name was on one of the luminarias. Thank you for doing this, Pat!
The second picture is the new Logo for Mardie's Walnut Creek Marathon. We are still working on setting a date but don't you just love the new logo, designed by Morgan Dodge.
After our walk I came home. I may have the energy to walk 4+ miles but each week I seem to run out of steam a little earlier than the prior week. I took a shower and got ready for shul. That was when I realized I wasn't going to walk there. I just didn't have it in me. And then I wasn't even sure I had it in me to drive. So I checked my email instead. Liz wanted a training schedule for Honolulu. I have been thinking about it and it was time to put it together. Which got me to thinking. In December I'll still be in chemo though just one drug instead of three. My radiation will have been over with for a couple of months. Can I get back into training and run or at least walk the marathon this year? I really, really want to do it but I also don't want to be stupid. I guess what will happen is that I will play it by ear, just see how I feel as the summer progresses and see if I can jump in in September and do the training over a shortened period of time. If I feel like it. That is pretty much what I did last summer and it worked quite well. I may surprise myself. And that, I realize, is what is bugging me. I am not going to try to prove anything to anyone. I won't be running for anyone except myself. If I can do it, I will, if I can't, I won't. And I won't apologize to anyone or myself if it works out that I can't run. I will just accept it and get on with my recovery and do the run next year. Simple thoughts, simple words. Now I will accept that and move on. If that happens I will enjoy being "coach" to anyone who does train. That is part of the training that I always wondered about. How could our coaches and program reps show up every week and watch us run and not feel cheated when the marathon came and they didn't run too? I could never really understand that. They always acted like they enjoyed being on the sidelines, cheering us on, giving us pretzels and water, making us feel like we were so special. If I end up with that job, will I feel cheated? I hope not. I hope I can do the coach thing gracefully and graciously.
The latest pictures are up. The top one is from a Relay for Life event in Tucson. Justine's son, Pat, participated and my name was on one of the luminarias. Thank you for doing this, Pat!
The second picture is the new Logo for Mardie's Walnut Creek Marathon. We are still working on setting a date but don't you just love the new logo, designed by Morgan Dodge.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Yesterday, I decided to walk to shul. I had already gone for a lovely 4.5 mile walk with my friend Iris. We had such a great time and such good conversation. I've been walking/running with Iris since 2001. We both started running when we signed on with the AIDS Marathon and we haven't stopped since! Anyway, after I walked with Iris I came home and showered, read the paper and then got ready to go to shul. Since I had already gone for my walk I figured I would drive. Then I decided maybe I would take a look outside to see if any one of my neighbors was about to drive off and maybe hitch a ride with them. I didn't see anything promising but I decided to see what would happen. This became a game in my mind. I would walk and if I was offered a ride I could accept but if no offer was made, I couldn't beg. So off I started. I decided to carry my phone just in case I didn't find a ride and ran out of steam. It is a good 3 miles to my synagogue and since I had already had a better than four mile walk, I wasn't sure I could do the extra miles. But I knew I could find someone to take me if I needed it. So off I went. I stopped to talk to a neighbor about homeowner's association problems. He also is a marathoner and did the Honolulu last year. But no offer was made. The way I was dressed he thought I was off on a casual walk around the neighborhood. Then I continued on my way. About a half mile from my home a car stopped and a library friend called out to me. She asked if I was walking to shul so she didn't offer a ride (we're supposed to walk to shul, not drive) which was kind of her. And the rule of the game is that someone has to offer a ride and not know that you would take a ride if offered but you wouldn't ask for a ride (unless you were entirely pooped).
Half way down Rudgear I started my thinking. I realized that I do my best thinking when I am on a good long run (or walk) by myself. I guess that is when the endorphins and other things kick in and the dust and rust fall out of the cogwheels of the brain. I remember thinking about how stale and uninteresting my blog has been lately. I haven't been out on the trails running and or walking so I haven't been thinking. Okay, sometimes interesting things happen that are worth writing about that don't involve running, but lately that hasn't been the case. By now I had just about reached the Broadway extension. And I was feeling pretty good. I was thinking how grateful I was that I had decided to wear just a sweater and had left the coat behind. Crossing Rudgear I noticed a woman ahead of me, power walking along the trail. I was conscious of the fact that I had started out rather slowly because I was so afraid I was going to run out of energy. But watching her made me think about when I might try to start running again. Then I thought to myself,
"Self", I said, " you no longer feel like there are loose rocks where you had the lumpectomy, do you?"
" No, "I answered, "I can't say that it feels like that anymore".
"Okay," I said to myself, "So, what if you were to just run for one minute right now and see how it felt. No one is watching you and if it doesn't feel right, then you can stop"
"Hmmmm, " I think. "But I'm wearing my SAS walking shoes and a long skirt. "Yes. "I reply" "But you have actually done that before. And those SAS shoes have a running shoe sole, remember? And last year, just about this time you tried running for the first time in months and it was right here, on this trail, in this skirt. Give it a go! See how it feels."
So to make a long story short I ran. For a minute. Then walked for a minute, then ran for a minute and I kept on doing it all the way to shul which is at least a good mile and a quarter. And so, dear friends, I think that this go around with the chemo has been pretty successful.
I must credit the Neupogen for keeping me strong this time. But, as Andy just pointed out to me yesterday, the price is not cheap. Those seven injections, if I hadn't belonged to Kaiser, could have cost me $1570! Kaiser always shows you what you would have paid if you didn't have the coverage you have. We pay $20 for brand name prescriptions, $10 for generic. And as a friend at shul pointed out, that really is cheap for such a miracle/wonder drug. Still, I am grateful I have Kaiser and that I can get my drugs so cheaply and easily. And I am glad I don't have to choose between paying my grocery bill and getting the prescriptions I need!
Half way down Rudgear I started my thinking. I realized that I do my best thinking when I am on a good long run (or walk) by myself. I guess that is when the endorphins and other things kick in and the dust and rust fall out of the cogwheels of the brain. I remember thinking about how stale and uninteresting my blog has been lately. I haven't been out on the trails running and or walking so I haven't been thinking. Okay, sometimes interesting things happen that are worth writing about that don't involve running, but lately that hasn't been the case. By now I had just about reached the Broadway extension. And I was feeling pretty good. I was thinking how grateful I was that I had decided to wear just a sweater and had left the coat behind. Crossing Rudgear I noticed a woman ahead of me, power walking along the trail. I was conscious of the fact that I had started out rather slowly because I was so afraid I was going to run out of energy. But watching her made me think about when I might try to start running again. Then I thought to myself,
"Self", I said, " you no longer feel like there are loose rocks where you had the lumpectomy, do you?"
" No, "I answered, "I can't say that it feels like that anymore".
"Okay," I said to myself, "So, what if you were to just run for one minute right now and see how it felt. No one is watching you and if it doesn't feel right, then you can stop"
"Hmmmm, " I think. "But I'm wearing my SAS walking shoes and a long skirt. "Yes. "I reply" "But you have actually done that before. And those SAS shoes have a running shoe sole, remember? And last year, just about this time you tried running for the first time in months and it was right here, on this trail, in this skirt. Give it a go! See how it feels."
So to make a long story short I ran. For a minute. Then walked for a minute, then ran for a minute and I kept on doing it all the way to shul which is at least a good mile and a quarter. And so, dear friends, I think that this go around with the chemo has been pretty successful.
I must credit the Neupogen for keeping me strong this time. But, as Andy just pointed out to me yesterday, the price is not cheap. Those seven injections, if I hadn't belonged to Kaiser, could have cost me $1570! Kaiser always shows you what you would have paid if you didn't have the coverage you have. We pay $20 for brand name prescriptions, $10 for generic. And as a friend at shul pointed out, that really is cheap for such a miracle/wonder drug. Still, I am grateful I have Kaiser and that I can get my drugs so cheaply and easily. And I am glad I don't have to choose between paying my grocery bill and getting the prescriptions I need!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
This has been a busy week. Andy's birthday was Tuesday and Passover started on Wednesday evening. We had a wee little birthday celebration on Tuesday night with a couple of friends and a tiny little cake. All day long people sent Andy happy birthday emails which really cheered him up. Honestly, I don't know why we don't just celebrate Andy's birthday on his half birthday instead of trying to do something so close to the end of tax season. Perhaps we will do that next year.
I was busy for a couple of days getting things in order, more or less, to celebrate the Passover. Andy and I decided that between the two of us we would not be dependable enough to keep a promise to go to a Seder either with friends or at our shul. We decided instead to just be the two of us at home. That way if one of us got sick or were just too tired we wouldn't have to discreetly bow out of a Seder. Of course, Wednesday turned out to be the last day of my injections of the Neupogen and the worst part of experiencing side effects. The bones in my lower back and hips were twinging with moderate pain. Nothing I couldn't deal with but debilitating when you are busy putting together a holiday meal. Nevertheless, we had a lovely Seder and we felt very good about it.
Now, however, my body is dealing with a change in diet and again I am having digestive issues. It wouldn't seem like a body would object to matzo. Such a harmless piece of food. Honestly, I don't know why the tummy cries when I eat it. Well, not so much the tummy but the process after the tummy. We are eating even more healthily than ever, Passover does that to you. Only foods that are "allowed" pass our lips. Lots of good fresh vegetables and fruits. No rice, nothing that started out as a grain except matzo and matzo meal. So nothing that has corn or corn syrup, nothing with safflower, soy or any of those grains or their end products. Also no legumes or foods that resemble legumes like peanuts. I was despairing because I didn't find any Kosher for passover salad dressings at the store this year (they typically use cottonseed oil as their base) when all of a sudden I had a brain storm. For heaven's sake, Mardie, just get back to the basics. What are you craving right now? A happy green salad with a creamy dressing? Well, then, go for it. I went to the store, bought some Roquefort cheese, sour cream, and nonfat unflavored yogurt. Then I went home and looked up recipes for Roquefort dressing. Most call for Worcestershire sauce and mayonnaise. Well, my tummy generally objects to mayonnaise so that was easy to drop and replace with the yogurt. And just like mayonnaise, Worcestershire sauce has ingredients that aren't allowed so I just dropped it. I mashed up the cheese with the sour cream and yogurt, added lemon juice, minced garlic, minced onion and kosher for passover balsamic vinegar. Let it sit in the refrigerator for a little while and oh, my goodness. I haven't tasted salad dressing this good since I can't say when. Why do I even bother to buy bottled dressing? Another by-product of Passover. Every year we have to be very creative with our meals and it always comes down to going back to basics. In ingredients and preparation. Yummy, simple, healthy food.
So today is the day when last time around (cycle one of chemotherapy) I got so sick and ended up in the ER. With the Neupogen shots I kept my white blood cell count up and hopefully, I am in much better shape than I was last time. I do feel better. No swollen, sensitive gums, no headache, no fever, no extreme tiredness. I think we got this one licked this time.
I was just observing to a friend this morning that the hills are still so green. Two years ago, on March 31st, I attended the lovely wedding of two friends up on Mt. Diablo. Everything was green, the wildflowers were blooming and it was a perfect day, in a perfect setting for two wonderful people to start their lives out together. Two weeks later, the hills had already turned golden. I remember remarking to someone that the wedding had been so perfectly timed to catch Mt. Diablo on a pleasantly warm day but still have the green of the hillsides. Today, as I look out the back window onto the verdant slope above me, I think that we will be able to enjoy our spring a little longer than usual because of the late rains we've had. But I am selfish enough to hope that when Sunday comes around the sun will come out and shine for the brunch our neighbor's hold every year around this time. Andy and I often can't actually eat anything except the fruit because it is during Passover, but it is so much fun talking to our neighbors, our friends who have moved away, the offspring of neighbors and friends and people that we have met one way or another over the years through this event. I think in all the years that we have lived here it has rained only once. It just made for cozier fellowship in the house instead of in the yard!
I was busy for a couple of days getting things in order, more or less, to celebrate the Passover. Andy and I decided that between the two of us we would not be dependable enough to keep a promise to go to a Seder either with friends or at our shul. We decided instead to just be the two of us at home. That way if one of us got sick or were just too tired we wouldn't have to discreetly bow out of a Seder. Of course, Wednesday turned out to be the last day of my injections of the Neupogen and the worst part of experiencing side effects. The bones in my lower back and hips were twinging with moderate pain. Nothing I couldn't deal with but debilitating when you are busy putting together a holiday meal. Nevertheless, we had a lovely Seder and we felt very good about it.
Now, however, my body is dealing with a change in diet and again I am having digestive issues. It wouldn't seem like a body would object to matzo. Such a harmless piece of food. Honestly, I don't know why the tummy cries when I eat it. Well, not so much the tummy but the process after the tummy. We are eating even more healthily than ever, Passover does that to you. Only foods that are "allowed" pass our lips. Lots of good fresh vegetables and fruits. No rice, nothing that started out as a grain except matzo and matzo meal. So nothing that has corn or corn syrup, nothing with safflower, soy or any of those grains or their end products. Also no legumes or foods that resemble legumes like peanuts. I was despairing because I didn't find any Kosher for passover salad dressings at the store this year (they typically use cottonseed oil as their base) when all of a sudden I had a brain storm. For heaven's sake, Mardie, just get back to the basics. What are you craving right now? A happy green salad with a creamy dressing? Well, then, go for it. I went to the store, bought some Roquefort cheese, sour cream, and nonfat unflavored yogurt. Then I went home and looked up recipes for Roquefort dressing. Most call for Worcestershire sauce and mayonnaise. Well, my tummy generally objects to mayonnaise so that was easy to drop and replace with the yogurt. And just like mayonnaise, Worcestershire sauce has ingredients that aren't allowed so I just dropped it. I mashed up the cheese with the sour cream and yogurt, added lemon juice, minced garlic, minced onion and kosher for passover balsamic vinegar. Let it sit in the refrigerator for a little while and oh, my goodness. I haven't tasted salad dressing this good since I can't say when. Why do I even bother to buy bottled dressing? Another by-product of Passover. Every year we have to be very creative with our meals and it always comes down to going back to basics. In ingredients and preparation. Yummy, simple, healthy food.
So today is the day when last time around (cycle one of chemotherapy) I got so sick and ended up in the ER. With the Neupogen shots I kept my white blood cell count up and hopefully, I am in much better shape than I was last time. I do feel better. No swollen, sensitive gums, no headache, no fever, no extreme tiredness. I think we got this one licked this time.
I was just observing to a friend this morning that the hills are still so green. Two years ago, on March 31st, I attended the lovely wedding of two friends up on Mt. Diablo. Everything was green, the wildflowers were blooming and it was a perfect day, in a perfect setting for two wonderful people to start their lives out together. Two weeks later, the hills had already turned golden. I remember remarking to someone that the wedding had been so perfectly timed to catch Mt. Diablo on a pleasantly warm day but still have the green of the hillsides. Today, as I look out the back window onto the verdant slope above me, I think that we will be able to enjoy our spring a little longer than usual because of the late rains we've had. But I am selfish enough to hope that when Sunday comes around the sun will come out and shine for the brunch our neighbor's hold every year around this time. Andy and I often can't actually eat anything except the fruit because it is during Passover, but it is so much fun talking to our neighbors, our friends who have moved away, the offspring of neighbors and friends and people that we have met one way or another over the years through this event. I think in all the years that we have lived here it has rained only once. It just made for cozier fellowship in the house instead of in the yard!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Chemo: Round 2, part 2
I wake up at some ungodly hour after very short stretches of slumber. I decide to go downstairs and read and before long Andy joins me. We have breakfast, I shower, take my pills and we decide to go on down to Kaiser even if it is early. I check in and wait briefly. My oncologist apparently comes in early too. We talk, she removes the last stitch that refuses to dissolve and can't be pulled out by my gentle tug. It seems the knot is under the skin but Dr. Liu gets it out. She is wonderful! She also says there isn't any reason for me to wear a mask when I go out. yayyy. I really don't like wearing it. It is hard to breathe through it. Now we are sent to the chemotherapy waiting room which is just next door. But I am quite early so we wait until my appointment time. This is not a complaint. I enjoy people watching and am an inveterate eaves dropper. Chemo patients do like to chat with one another. One guy observes my pink bandanna and assures me that he was in my same hair situation last year. He now sports a thick headful of dark curly hair and I should expect the same. I smile and thank him. Finally we are called in. I am weighed and and have gained five pounds. This will not do. Must walk more. Oh, they don't scold me. I am scolding myself.
I get settled in my chemo chair and discover that the chemo nurse is the same nurse my friend Christa had 20 years ago! And she remembers Christa. She explains that Christa was a interesting patient and 20 years ago there weren't many chemo patients so it is easy to remember the special ones. She asks about Christa and is pleased at my report. Then the surprise comes. I am getting all my chemo drugs and I will be self injecting a new drug for seven days! What, no one told about this? Nope, this is news to me. But it is down in the orders. It seems because of my visit to the ER the trials people want me to bolster my white cell count and this new drug Filgrastim (Neupogen) will do that. Yikes, give myself a shot....I don't think so. I panic for a moment. Andy is not going to be able to help me with this, I am sure. What shall I do? Then, in a flash, I realize there is an answer. If she will agree which I think she will. I immediately call my good friend Jane and of course, she is willing, eager and able. Not only was she the Lead library media specialist and my boss at WCSD, but before that she was a nurse! I ask if she would mind coming over to the chemo clinic to listen to the instructions even if she does know what is what. Jane is a dear and says of course. And an hour or so later we sit and get instructions from my chemo nurse. And I'm thinking the chemo nurse could see that Jane was completely okay with giving the shots. Thank you, Jane!
But once again I jump ahead. I had talked Andy into not staying the whole time this time around. Last time I slept through most of the chemo treatment and figured I would do so again. But with the prospect of this new drug injection thrown in and with my talking to other people nearby I never got a chance to sleep. And the routine was a lot shorter this time because they could see that I tolerated a faster drip. After I was released I called Andy to pick me up but warned him that I had to pick up a prescription. By the time I was finished in the pharmacy I could see the old red mustang convertible sitting in the parking lot and this cool looking dude in a driving cap sitting there waiting for me. I jumped into the car and explained the new development with the injections. He agreed that he would not be up to doing it for me and was extremely grateful to Jane. When I got home I was really beat so I took a better than three hour nap. Dinner was already delivered from our next door neighbors and what a feast it was! Just the perfect meal for an after chemo treatment. Thank you, Karen and Kathy! And we also got another delivery of won ton soup and yummy chocolate cake for an off day. What a treat! Thank you Catherine!
Today is now Thursday. I slept better than I expected. Had my cup of coffee and then called Jane to see if she could do the injection. She said come on down, (actually she offered to come up to me but I figured she is doing me the favor and if I can, I will go down to her). She is a very good sticker! No pain at all. I feel as though I already am feeling stronger from this but that must be all in my head. Nothing could work that fast! And so I am into round two and still swinging. This is really okay. I am going to make it in style! I am invincible. I am the slayer!
I get settled in my chemo chair and discover that the chemo nurse is the same nurse my friend Christa had 20 years ago! And she remembers Christa. She explains that Christa was a interesting patient and 20 years ago there weren't many chemo patients so it is easy to remember the special ones. She asks about Christa and is pleased at my report. Then the surprise comes. I am getting all my chemo drugs and I will be self injecting a new drug for seven days! What, no one told about this? Nope, this is news to me. But it is down in the orders. It seems because of my visit to the ER the trials people want me to bolster my white cell count and this new drug Filgrastim (Neupogen) will do that. Yikes, give myself a shot....I don't think so. I panic for a moment. Andy is not going to be able to help me with this, I am sure. What shall I do? Then, in a flash, I realize there is an answer. If she will agree which I think she will. I immediately call my good friend Jane and of course, she is willing, eager and able. Not only was she the Lead library media specialist and my boss at WCSD, but before that she was a nurse! I ask if she would mind coming over to the chemo clinic to listen to the instructions even if she does know what is what. Jane is a dear and says of course. And an hour or so later we sit and get instructions from my chemo nurse. And I'm thinking the chemo nurse could see that Jane was completely okay with giving the shots. Thank you, Jane!
But once again I jump ahead. I had talked Andy into not staying the whole time this time around. Last time I slept through most of the chemo treatment and figured I would do so again. But with the prospect of this new drug injection thrown in and with my talking to other people nearby I never got a chance to sleep. And the routine was a lot shorter this time because they could see that I tolerated a faster drip. After I was released I called Andy to pick me up but warned him that I had to pick up a prescription. By the time I was finished in the pharmacy I could see the old red mustang convertible sitting in the parking lot and this cool looking dude in a driving cap sitting there waiting for me. I jumped into the car and explained the new development with the injections. He agreed that he would not be up to doing it for me and was extremely grateful to Jane. When I got home I was really beat so I took a better than three hour nap. Dinner was already delivered from our next door neighbors and what a feast it was! Just the perfect meal for an after chemo treatment. Thank you, Karen and Kathy! And we also got another delivery of won ton soup and yummy chocolate cake for an off day. What a treat! Thank you Catherine!
Today is now Thursday. I slept better than I expected. Had my cup of coffee and then called Jane to see if she could do the injection. She said come on down, (actually she offered to come up to me but I figured she is doing me the favor and if I can, I will go down to her). She is a very good sticker! No pain at all. I feel as though I already am feeling stronger from this but that must be all in my head. Nothing could work that fast! And so I am into round two and still swinging. This is really okay. I am going to make it in style! I am invincible. I am the slayer!
Chemo: Round 2, part I
Chemo second time around isn't nearly so daunting. I was more concerned about prepping myself the day and evening before than I was about the visit itself. And yet, as in any marathon, nothing is ever the same so I was in for a little surprise. But once again I get ahead of myself. Let's back up a couple of days and fill in the blanks.
This part was supposed to be a blog a couple of days ago but I never got around to it. So let's pretend it is Tuesday and I am just finishing up the day.
I have just two things to say. 1) Best laid plans of mice and men..... and 2) Never a dull moment.
I had planned on going in to have my blood drawn on Monday so that there would be plenty of time if I needed to go back because of any problems. But a friend suggested that the longer I put it off, the better my readings would be so I should wait until Tuesday. Okay, that made sense to me and still does. But I didn't want to be caught in all the parking traffic on Tuesday afternoon at Kaiser so I decided to make an early day of it and go in right when the lab opened at 7. I figured I'd be in and out in a matter of moments. Lo and behold, the parking deck was full up to the third floor already and when I pulled my number at the lab check in I was number 16 at 7:05! So I waited a good 20 minutes before I even registered. No matter. It was fine. I read my latest mystery/thriller. Daniel Silva is the author and if you like European mystery/thrillers you might like to give him a try. Read the ones with Gabriel Allon as the protagonist. Anyway, I finally got to register and then had to wait to be called. Maybe another 10 minutes. The draw took just a few moments. And she wasn't an intern so it was painless. By the time I got home at 9 the results were already being posted. Shoot! I forgot to tell them I am a clumper. My platelets clumped. I figured I would probably have to go back and do the draw again. Darn! So I sent an email to my oncologist asking if I should go back. Got an autoresponse that she isn't in. Double darn. I tried calling the clinical trials nurse. She was out until heaven knows when but left an alternate number. I called it and I got voice mail. I tried another alternate number and again got voice mail. But this person did call back after an hour or so and looked at the test results and said it was okay. I probably didn't need to go back. Little did I realize she was looking at the wrong test. Because later on in the early afternoon my oncologist, who was not working that day but obviously was checking her emails, sent me an email to please go back and ask them to draw my blood into a citrate media tube. So I printed out the email, printed out the test results and scurried down to Kaiser again. Sigh. Now the parking garage was full to the top. Fifth floor. I found a space and walked on over to the lab in the basement. It was just past 2 p.m. There is no one waiting! I grabbed a ticket and it was the next number to be called. I explained the problem and registered and before I got settled to wait, my number was again called and I got to the draw station. And then I get it. Everyone but me has figured out that the interns work in the afternoon so any one who has a choice chooses not to be drawn then. I explained my problem and she understood citrate but not media tube. Funny, because I understood what media tube probably meant but didn't know about the citrate too much but maybe it is some kind of acidic media that prevents clumping? So I told her I am a clumper and that there is a special tube she has to draw the blood into. She referred to her supervisor and called me a clumper. The supervisor lowered her voice and said that I shouldn't be referred to as a clumper, it doesn't sound nice. I insinuated myself into the conversation and explained that I called myself a clumper and that is what I am so why say anything else? I said this with a smile and a chuckled and so everyone was happy. The supervisor explained to the intern that she will need to use a lavender vial and another colored one (maybe it was blue?). Now I was nervous because this intern was probably straight out of the classroom and my poor arm is beginning to look like a junkie's arm. But I tried to relax and she stuck the needle in after many pats on the crook of my arm. Now it is my turn to apologize. She did a lovely job. I barely felt it and I have next to no bruise. It was just fine. I told her she was a good sticker and she seemed pleased. I toddle on home and do all the things that I needed to do to prepare for my visit to the chemo room the next day. Hydrating like crazy, taking a stool softener, drinking my fiber filled smoothie a little later than normal. Taking my decadron which prevents a good night's sleep. I am prepared. (to be continued in part 2)
This part was supposed to be a blog a couple of days ago but I never got around to it. So let's pretend it is Tuesday and I am just finishing up the day.
I have just two things to say. 1) Best laid plans of mice and men..... and 2) Never a dull moment.
I had planned on going in to have my blood drawn on Monday so that there would be plenty of time if I needed to go back because of any problems. But a friend suggested that the longer I put it off, the better my readings would be so I should wait until Tuesday. Okay, that made sense to me and still does. But I didn't want to be caught in all the parking traffic on Tuesday afternoon at Kaiser so I decided to make an early day of it and go in right when the lab opened at 7. I figured I'd be in and out in a matter of moments. Lo and behold, the parking deck was full up to the third floor already and when I pulled my number at the lab check in I was number 16 at 7:05! So I waited a good 20 minutes before I even registered. No matter. It was fine. I read my latest mystery/thriller. Daniel Silva is the author and if you like European mystery/thrillers you might like to give him a try. Read the ones with Gabriel Allon as the protagonist. Anyway, I finally got to register and then had to wait to be called. Maybe another 10 minutes. The draw took just a few moments. And she wasn't an intern so it was painless. By the time I got home at 9 the results were already being posted. Shoot! I forgot to tell them I am a clumper. My platelets clumped. I figured I would probably have to go back and do the draw again. Darn! So I sent an email to my oncologist asking if I should go back. Got an autoresponse that she isn't in. Double darn. I tried calling the clinical trials nurse. She was out until heaven knows when but left an alternate number. I called it and I got voice mail. I tried another alternate number and again got voice mail. But this person did call back after an hour or so and looked at the test results and said it was okay. I probably didn't need to go back. Little did I realize she was looking at the wrong test. Because later on in the early afternoon my oncologist, who was not working that day but obviously was checking her emails, sent me an email to please go back and ask them to draw my blood into a citrate media tube. So I printed out the email, printed out the test results and scurried down to Kaiser again. Sigh. Now the parking garage was full to the top. Fifth floor. I found a space and walked on over to the lab in the basement. It was just past 2 p.m. There is no one waiting! I grabbed a ticket and it was the next number to be called. I explained the problem and registered and before I got settled to wait, my number was again called and I got to the draw station. And then I get it. Everyone but me has figured out that the interns work in the afternoon so any one who has a choice chooses not to be drawn then. I explained my problem and she understood citrate but not media tube. Funny, because I understood what media tube probably meant but didn't know about the citrate too much but maybe it is some kind of acidic media that prevents clumping? So I told her I am a clumper and that there is a special tube she has to draw the blood into. She referred to her supervisor and called me a clumper. The supervisor lowered her voice and said that I shouldn't be referred to as a clumper, it doesn't sound nice. I insinuated myself into the conversation and explained that I called myself a clumper and that is what I am so why say anything else? I said this with a smile and a chuckled and so everyone was happy. The supervisor explained to the intern that she will need to use a lavender vial and another colored one (maybe it was blue?). Now I was nervous because this intern was probably straight out of the classroom and my poor arm is beginning to look like a junkie's arm. But I tried to relax and she stuck the needle in after many pats on the crook of my arm. Now it is my turn to apologize. She did a lovely job. I barely felt it and I have next to no bruise. It was just fine. I told her she was a good sticker and she seemed pleased. I toddle on home and do all the things that I needed to do to prepare for my visit to the chemo room the next day. Hydrating like crazy, taking a stool softener, drinking my fiber filled smoothie a little later than normal. Taking my decadron which prevents a good night's sleep. I am prepared. (to be continued in part 2)
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