I went for my four mile walk this morning. Just Liz, Allen and me. It was a perfect day for a leisurely walk. We had to divert our course once we got close to the creek, (the city of Walnut Creek does have a creek named Walnut Creek) because of the multitudes of white flies that were swarming along the trail. So we did a loop around Broadway Plaza instead of going to the bridge at Ygnacio Road. The sky was clear and blue, it hadn't gotten too hot yet and the conversation had us in stitches. We may not be fast, but between the three of us we know how to make each other laugh.

After our walk I came home. I may have the energy to walk 4+ miles but each week I seem to run out of steam a little earlier than the prior week. I took a shower and got ready for shul. That was when I realized I wasn't going to walk there. I just didn't have it in me. And then I wasn't even sure I had it in me to drive. So I checked my email instead. Liz wanted a training schedule for Honolulu. I have been thinking about it and it was time to put it together. Which got me to thinking. In December I'll still be in chemo though just one drug instead of three. My radiation will have been over with for a couple of months. Can I get back into training and run or at least walk the marathon this year? I really, really want to do it but I also don't want to be stupid. I guess what will happen is that I will play it by ear, just see how I feel as the summer progresses and see if I can jump in in September and do the training over a shortened period of time. If I feel like it. That is pretty much what I did last summer and it worked quite well. I may surprise myself. And that, I realize, is what is bugging me. I am not going to try to prove anything to anyone. I won't be running for anyone except myself. If I can do it, I will, if I can't, I won't. And I won't apologize to anyone or myself if it works out that I can't run. I will just accept it and get on with my recovery and do the run next year. Simple thoughts, simple words. Now I will accept that and move on. If that happens I will enjoy being "coach" to anyone who does train. That is part of the training that I always wondered about. How could our coaches and program reps show up every week and watch us run and not feel cheated when the marathon came and they didn't run too? I could never really understand that. They always acted like they enjoyed being on the sidelines, cheering us on, giving us pretzels and water, making us feel like we were so special. If I end up with that job, will I feel cheated? I hope not. I hope I can do the coach thing gracefully and graciously.

The latest pictures are up. The top one is from a Relay for Life event in Tucson. Justine's son, Pat, participated and my name was on one of the luminarias. Thank you for doing this, Pat!
The second picture is the new Logo for Mardie's Walnut Creek Marathon. We are still working on setting a date but don't you just love the new logo, designed by Morgan Dodge.