Chemo and Kings

I got the news this morning from Dr. Liu. Although the numbers weren't perfect, they weren't far off so I will be in a chemo chair for 4 hours for the last time tomorrow. After that it will be a much shorter visit each time until March. I'm happy with that.
Today we drove into the city and saw the King Tut exhibition at the De Young Museum. Wow! It was wonderful. The exhibit was well presented and the the artifacts were so exquisite. For the first time I felt that the curators did something really smart. We rented the audio tour but I still like to real the tags on the artifacts. Usually you can see the tags only if you are up close and standing either right in front of it if it is posted below the artifact or to one side if you can walk to one side. The curators figured out that if you posted it on top and to the sides and underneath (and behind it if it was a display that you could walk all the way around) then more people could read the descriptions before they got up close and would spend less time blocking everyone else from getting a good view. I'm certain people spent less time directly in front and up close than at most exhibitions. The audio tour was delivered by Omar Shariff. What a great idea to have him doing it. If you can make the trip into the city, go see this exhibition. It is worth the effort and the cost.
I do have one complaint, though. Don't I always? But I can't blame it on anyone but myself. We got to the De Young around 11:35 and there was no parking within a mile of the museum. So we parked at a pretty distant spot, near a water fall and past a prayer garden. Way past the rose garden. Then I had to stand in line for the will call because of a mix up with our tickets. I will be happy to tell you that story but not today. Then we had to stand in line for the 12:30 ticket holders. Then we had to stand in line. They we had to stand and view a 90 second video and then we got to walk through the exhibit. My feet were killing me before we started the tour. Fortunately there were benches here and there to sit on throughout the exhibit. I'm now starting to realize how hard it is for Andy. I've always understood walking was a problem for him. Now I can empathize with him. Of course I don't have a balance problem so my foot disability isn't comparable to the his lack of toes and diminutive foot size. But when each step is something you are aware of, well, walking becomes less enjoyable. And I do love running and walking as you all know. But this isn't fun.
So, I'm going to go put my feet up now and rest a little. And then, tomorrow, maybe I'll just go do a little chemo.
And a double P.S.
1) Congratulations to Kara and Morgan on the birth of their son, Jasper, yesterday morning. He is a beautiful baby. We are so happy for you. (not a royal we, but a Fulop family we)
2) Leah, get well and out of the hospital soon. We are sending positive thoughts your way. (again, not a royal we, just a Fulop family we)

Lab revisited

Wow, the house was so much cooler this morning than the last couple of mornings. Surely it will be a cooler day today. I'm tired of hiding in the house all day and half the evening!

This morning at 6:45 I was in line at Kaiser waiting for the lab to open. There were already 5 people in front of me and a dozen people behind me by the time they opened the door at 7 a.m. I didn't need to wait very long at all and the lab lady, Marina, was a good sticker. I hardly noticed the needle. An hour later the lab results were coming in. I love the Kaiser website. I can check on my lab results and email my doctor so easily. Most of the numbers were just outside of the "normal" range. I'm hoping they are all close enough to allow my chemo tomorrow.

I've already started my chemo pill regimen. This morning I took two of my decadron pills. I hadn't realized that decadron is a steroid. When I visited my oncologist yesterday I mentioned that I am getting puffy. She said she noticed and that was a result of the steroids I'm taking. That also explains the weight gain. I will admit that I'm eating more than I should but the weight I have gained is out of proportion to what I eat. In my humble opinion. But I do drink a lot of water and if the steroids make me retain water, well there you go!

I also mentioned to her that I had signed up for the SF AIDS Walk on July 19 and asked her if she thought it was a good idea. I was a little worried because of the neuropathy in my hands and feet. She encouraged me to do the walk! I just love her. She is so upbeat and always has a smile. So, unless I hear otherwise from her today, I will have my last full chemotherapy tomorrow. And then I will call the radiologist and make plans with them to start the radiation treatments. I can't wait.....yeah!

I want to wish Melody all the best and thank her for sending me greetings. She recently joined "the sorority". I am sure her treatment and recovery will be fast and smooth. She has the right attitude and spirit!

Thank you to Joan for the ratatouille and all the fixings! It was delicious. And thank you everyone who made my life a little, no, a lot easier by preparing all those wonderful meals for us this year. I am so very very grateful.

Sizzling summer day

Yesterday was a hot one! At 6:30 p.m. it was 107.0 F. on the indoor/outdoor thermometer hanging on our front porch. It was a good day for a barbecue and what do you know? We just got one! There was a little difficulty at first. I bought it at Home Depot. They were perfectly willing to put it together for me but I had to get it home. So I paid to have it delivered. The delivery guys were very nice. Even brought it in to the backyard and made sure I was happy with it. There were a couple of things that had to be put in after it was delivered. Just the "flavor bars" and the grills. But when I put the "flavor bars" in, the last one wouldn't fit. There was a screw jutting out which made it impossible for the last bar to sit flat across the barbecue. It looked to me as if, 1) either the screw had been put in backwards or, 2) it was the wrong size screw. So off I went to Home Depot to get a look at the one on display. Lo and behold, the grills were on it okay, but when I took them off the "flavor bars" had just been tossed in and not set up correctly. So I tried to set them up and they all fit, except for the last one. And the darn screw was in there the same way it was in mine at home. So I flagged down a salesman or whatever they are called at Home Depot and pointed out the problem. His answer? Hmmm, looks like a design flaw. He said it with a straight face. I just shook my head and said, no, the screw is either in backwards or it is the wrong size screw. He shook his head. I told him I had one at home with the same problem and asked him what we could do. He suggested calling the manufacturer. I shook my head and said, no, I want to talk to someone here. He shook his head and said there wasn't anyone else with whom I could speak. I try to keep my calm nowadays, not like the olden days when I would have started accusing him of being an idiot. I just went to the customer service desk and explained to the young woman there what the problem was. And then I dragged her over to show her. She agreed it was not right and could be fixed and she would talk to her supervisor. He wasn't available then but she promised he would call me at home. And just after I got home he did call and he agreed it had been put together wrong. So out he came the next day and fixed it. And was he was very nice and set up the propane tank for me too. I was very satisfied with the way they handled it but honestly, that salesman should be spoken to. That is not customer service.

And so, last night, in the height of the heat, I barbecued some chicken without heating up the house. Yayyy for barbecues.

I also got a fruitful bouquet from Mrs. Sun yesterday. What a delight! Cool and sweet. Just the perfect snack for a sizzling hot day!

of summer and having fun

I live in a neighborhood where there are a number of young people. There are a couple of toddlers, some elementary school kids, a few middle school kids and some high schoolers. These kids play soccer, swim on the summer swim team and belong to scouts. They have very organized, busy schedules. So I was really pleased the other day when I discovered that they aren't so programmed that they don't know how to be creative, original thinking, adventurous kids. I don't know how they came up with the idea. I do know that sometimes they climb up on the hillside behind our house looking for lost rockets. Whoever it was, one of them got the idea of rigging up a zip line between two oak trees on the hillside. Now, when they got the idea, the hillside hadn't been plowed or weed whacked. So they hoed and whacked the weeds themselves until they had a clear run. I'm not entirely sure how they convinced one of the parents to get the right weight and length of line at the hardware store but they did. Another parent and uncle helped them figure out how to rig it up. But the kids did the work. After trial and error the zip line was finished. And now on YouTube you can see the results. Because not only did they make a 200 foot zip line that can carry up to 165 lbs. but one of these young people is an accomplished film maker and he posted a film of the kids enjoying the zip line. It looks like so much fun. And every day when they use it, they set it up, make sure that it is used properly with the user wearing a helmet and back support and when they are done they take everything down so no one gets injured using it unsafely. I am so impressed. Kids still can be kids around here. And it was not just one age group involved. All the kids seemed to have a part in it.It is just one more reason why I love this neighborhood so much. People on this court enjoy doing fun things together and they look out for one another. The kids see the adults acting this way and they emulate what they see. What a wonderful place to live!

The thief

Watching a squirrel this morning. He runs along the back fence with an apricot in his little paws. He stops, peels the apricot with his teeth, spits the peel out and then nibbles on the insides. How audacious of this thieving rascal! Surely he can see that we have, at the most, maybe a dozen apricots this year. And yet, there he is, stealing one of the few we have. I can't blame him, really. They look so tempting, clustered there on one branch of the tree. They are just turning the perfect shade of yellow and rose. And it is going to be very difficult for us to harvest this tiny crop, the tree being on the hillside and the branch appearing to be just beyond my reach. Between him, the jays and the raccoons, I'm afraid there will be no home grown apricots for us this year. I guess we can afford to share with our wild friends. This year, anyway.

Time again

In my last blog I was complaining about the monotony of this summer. I started the blog a couple of days ago and posted it Friday but after I started that one things began happening. I enjoyed Tuesday night at Book Club with my favorite foody/booky people. We always start with a tasty potluck. Sometimes we're heavy on salads, sometimes heavy on desserts, sometimes heavy on cheese and dips but this time it was a perfect balance. When we are ready for dessert we begin discussing the book. Sometimes our book discussions are short and we end up discussing something else that is on our minds. Books aren't always the focus of our discussion but we always have an enjoyable evening, no matter what the topic is.
Next, Thursday night, Rebecca and I were the happy recipients of two tickets to see La Traviata at the War Memorial Opera House. Mary had extra tickets and offered them to us. We had planned to go early and do something fun before the opera but by the time we left we only managed to fit in a meal at Max's Opera Cafe (yum on their matzo ball soup) before joining Mary and her husband, Scott, at the Opera House. I haven't been there since they added extra screens. These are for the balcony section so we can see the artists up close and personal. Now, some people might feel that the screens are a distraction but I don't subscribe to that notion. There are several cameras at a number of different spots aimed at the stage and in the orchestra pit. I couldn't see them but they are there somewhere. We got to see the orchestra and conductor up close as they played the overture and then we were able to see the performers from a number of different angles during the performance. I thought it was wonderful. The performers were absolutely stupendous. I loved Anna Netrebko as Violetta. Her voice is magical. And Dwayne Croft as Giorgio Germont, Alfredo's father was magnificent. Alfredo, sung by Charles Castronovo, was also a great performer and not bad to look at. I walked away from La Traviata with a whole new appreciation for opera. I guess I like it better than I thought. This was also easier to sit through than Wagner's works which last for half the night. I guess I'm going to have to look at the S.F. Opera's offerings for next year and get some tickets....!
Next week we are going to see the King Tut exhibit. Maybe staycations aren't so bad......?

Time

Although this year seems to be moving by at a very fast clip, everyone is remarking on it, this last week or so has crept along at a snail's pace. Summer this year is very monotonous. This is the first summer in ages that Andy and I haven't gone somewhere the moment my school was done.
And interestingly, the cruise we signed up for, the one that was finally going to take me to the Promised Land of Israel for the first time, the cruise that we had to cancel because of this darned (sorry for the language) annoyance, this cruise was cancelled! There was a fire on the Royal Princess. The cruise from Venice to Athens was cut short by a fire in the engine room! It was decided to end the cruise and cancel the following cruise that was to begin in Athens. We were supposed to board at Athens. As Sonia so aptly put, "If Mardie can't go on the cruise, no one can!" And this isn't an admission of guilt on my part. I was nowhere near Port Said at the time of the conflagration and I don't have any connection with that cruise. Well, come to think of it, I do know someone who was onboard but I didn't do anything to convince him to sabotage the cruise, really!
Thank you to my meal providers this last week. Thank you to Leslie and Anne for your marvelous Italian dinners and to Jane for her delicious meatloaf and all the fixings. We enjoyed everything.

Sweet, sweet, sweet

Last night, right in the middle of dinner, it hit me. I was enjoying a most lovely vegetable lasagna. I decided to taste the salad and it was a bag salad that I buy all the time. I love it. But the salad tasted really sweet. I was a little surprised because I never noticed how sweet it was, especially because I never put all the dressing on it. But, there it was. Someone had put sugar in it. So I went back to the lasagna and suddenly it was very sweet too. I asked Andy and Becca if they thought the salad and lasagna tasted really sweet. No, they both agreed they weren't sweet at all. And then it hit me. This is a side effect of the chemo. Now my mouth has a sweet, almost saccharin-like taste all the time. Regular stuff tastes sweet, sweet stuff it overbearingly sweet. I had tea with Jane this morning and all of the delicious muffins and fruits she had put out for me were just too sweet to eat. But they weren't. She isn't one to overdo the sugar. But even a bite of strawberry or cherry just made my mouth feel like sugar overload. Sigh. Now I feel like I have two very real side effects. My feet and hands are definitely victims of neuropathy and now my taste buds. I'm just hoping these are transitory conditions because they aren't fun.
Thank you to Jeff of La Farine in Oakland for the wonderful treats this morning. Thank you to Anne for the lasagna, salad, bread and flowers last night. Thank you Jane for the tea and goodies this morning. Thank you to the mysterious person who has tied a gauzy pink ribbon on our front gate. I'm not sure who it was. I have my suspicions. But I like it very much. And thank you everyone for all that you have done for us. You are the best!

Curry, anyone?

Yesterday I had quite an adventure. My friend Lily and I drove into Berkeley and played tourist. She hadn't ever been on campus! Well, we set that lack straight. We parked near the top of Bancroft and walked along the edge of campus to Telegraph. Making a right onto Sproul Plaza we strolled through campus passing Sather Gate, Dwinelle Hall and Wheeler. I gave a running commentary about my memories of going to school there and a little history of significant places. We ended up at the Doe library, naturally, and walked around a little inside. They wouldn't let us in the stacks but let us view the staircase that goes into the new underground section....New! Well it was new at least ten years ago, come to think of it, when I showed it to a visiting Hungarian Sister City visitor. Lily noticed a display case which showed a special honors thesis the topic of which was textiles from Cochin, her home state in India. It set the mood for our next stop. For, after continuing east and south through the campus, we retrieved the car and drove down University Avenue to visit some Indian sari stores and markets. Oh, my gosh! The grocery stores were a delight to stroll through. Talk about exotic! Just the smells of fresh vegetables, curries and incenses were enough to send us into a sensory nirvana! And there were all kinds of flours and teas and spices in colorful packaging. And sweets! Yumm! Then we stopped in to some sari stores. How beautiful! The colors were so intense and vibrant. Many of the saris and salwar kameezes (those cute long over blouses with the loose or tight trousers) were embellished with gold threads and stones and were truly magnificent. They were more for weddings and special festivals. But even the ordinary everyday salwar kameezes (those cute long over blouses with the loose or tight trousers) were delicious to look at. And many were very reasonably priced! I'm going back and maybe pick up an outfit or two. They are so comfortable to wear.
After giving our eyes a feast we visited a restaurant, Udupai Palace, at the corner of MLK Blvd. and University. It specializes in south Indian food which means vegetarian! Most of the dishes were presented as a crepe, a pancake or an omelet stuffed with potatoes, spinach or other yummy vegetables. They were also enormous. And they came with other delicacies like a savory lentil doughnut (don't knock it until you've tried it. It was delicious!) and rice patties. They also came with three dipping sauces. I don't know what was in them but they were very tasty. Southern Indian cuisine is something I have only experienced two or three times before and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the food. I'll be back to that restaurant for sure.
After our lunch (thank you very much Lily) we headed on back to Walnut Creek. Another exciting day in the life of Mardie.....

On support groups

I was invited to attend the first session of a support group for cancer patients, survivors and care givers last week. We met at a church after their services Sunday morning. I was a little ambivalent about going to it for a couple of reasons. Support groups and group therapy just sound a lot alike to me and I have had a life time of group therapy already. Don't need/want more. Thank you very much! I also wasn't sure if the group would have a Christian bent and I wanted neither to intrude on nor participate in a "Christian" experience. But, I am also a believer in trying things if I'm not sure about something so I went. My friend picked me up and we drove to the church. Services were over before we arrived and people had moved to the social hall for cookies and coffee. Our group met in a small room off the big social hall. About 20 people crowded into this room and for privacy reasons I will neither identify the church, the group leader's name or any of the names of the other participants. Really there isn't much to reveal. We did the introduction thing where everyone states his/her name, what cancer he/she has or had or if he/she is a caregiver. I think I might have been the youngest person in the room except for the facilitator. I sure felt like it. The participants had a variety of different cancers and some were long time cancer survivors. It seemed the reason most of them came was to connect with other cancer patients. The basic purpose for this first meeting was to see what it was the participants wanted out of the group, when they wanted to meet and who they wanted to be there. That was the first sign to me that maybe I shouldn't be there. One of the participants made a point of saying that he was a first service attendee and so if most of the people didn't recognize him it was because of that and not because he had just wandered in off the street. The thing is, he probably wasn't making a comment because he didn't recognize me but because he didn't recognize a number of other people there, but a point was made. He wanted people to know that he belonged and that the general community didn't. This raised the question of whether they wanted "outsiders" to be allowed to attend this group. The facilitator was really very good and pointed out that it was up to the group but that the idea of opening up to the community had been talked about by people she had already talked to. But it was agreed that the first couple of meetings would be just for those who already knew about it or were there that day. Then the format of the meeting was discussed. Some people wanted a kind of free form open meeting, some wanted a little structure. Some wanted us all to meet together but the general consensus was that male and female cancer patients had different ways of dealing with their issues and care givers had different needs. This would mean maybe meeting together for a few minutes at the beginning of each meeting, then breaking up into various groups and then meeting all together at the end. Which was when one of the participants volunteered that the group should open and close with a prayer. Now, since this group is meeting at a church and everyone except me was a parishioner, I had no problem with this. In fact, I think that it is totally appropriate. If you can't pray at your own church, where the heck can you pray? One of the participants volunteered that if the group were open to the general public it might make it uncomfortable for non-Christians or even some other non-parishioners if there were a prayer. Then it was decided that maybe praying could be done after the meeting had officially ended. At that point I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be coming back. But as I thought about it afterwards there was another reason I don't want to go back and it has to do with something I wrote about before.

I am a very suggestible person. If you tell me about an ache or pain one day, chances are the next day I will have it. A friend told me her husband had gout and for days afterward I was sure I had gout. Miraculously, I seem to have recovered from it. Maybe cancer trumps gout? But as we sat there at the table and each person recounted their cancer experience I heard a lot of stuff I really didn't want to know about. Many of these people had either not gotten rid of their cancer, had gotten it back or gotten more different kinds of cancer. I really don't want to hear about that. And they were eager to discuss it. I don't want to know about that. I am now considered cancer free and I have no desire to dwell in those other possibilities. It kind of scared me listening to their stories. When it was my turn to introduce myself I felt like there were a million things I could have said but my basic statement was that I am in chemo now, I'm getting better and I expect to stay well. I even said maybe I am a little shallow thinking that way but that is the way I think. I realized just a little while ago that I had sort of shut down my memory of what went on in the group because I didn't want to think about all the possibilities they had presented. And once I have written this I will try to forget it again. The thing is, I am perfectly happy to accept the support my friends, neighbors and colleagues have offered. I like a friendly word when I run into people and I enjoy going out for coffee (sorry, herbal tea) with friends. But I am not interested in hearing about a lot of people's cancer experiences because they aren't mine and I don't want to have other possibilities thrown at me. And recently some people have offered to make appointments for me to visit with non-traditional health practitioners and want to give me advice from "experts" in non-traditional therapies. I am just not interested. I have already stated that I am basing my treatment and recovery on my friend Christa's experiences and for me that should do it. I am almost ready to bury my head in the sand and stay hidden in my room if that is what I have to do to stay away from people who are obviously eager to help me. I can't say I don't need anyone's help because obviously that isn't true. Many friends have helped me in many wonderful ways. But I am not into commiserating, feeling sorry for myself or hearing cancer stories about other people. If it is a horror story I absolutely do not want to hear it and if it is a heart warming story I don't need to hear it. I'm good as we say. I want to just talk about ordinary stuff, hear about other people's ordinary lives (or exciting lives, that is good too). But I don't want to dwell on cancer. As a friend said and I may have said it here before, I have cancer but it doesn't have me. And actually, according to my oncologist, I don't have cancer so it for sure doesn't have me. And I am determined to keep it that way.

Disability and spring break

Another fairly uneventful week. One daughter leaves, another daughter arrives. Becca will be here most of the summer. She's working on her dissertation....or so she says. No, she is, I'm sure. Meanwhile I suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous chemotherapy. This go around has just been a little harder. Some of it probably has to do with my mental state during the chemo itself. I'm hoping that my friend who is also going through chemo now has a smoother visit on Tuesday than I did last Wednesday. Surely by now they will have ironed out the wrinkles and figured it all out.
I went to see UP with Becca on Friday. What a great movie. We saw it in 3-D and loved every minute of it. Two thumbs up!
Friday afternoon I had an interesting encounter with the Dept of Disability or whatever their their moniker is. I haven't gotten any checks from them since March 23 and I hadn't really given it much thought (chemo brain!). Thank goodness I have a husband who hasn't lost his job! But it did seem like something that should be cleared up. So I dialed the 800 number. After waiting on hold for about 10 minutes (which I really won't complain about because I have something better to complain about) I got far enough into the conversation with the assister (hmmm, according to spellcheck and my Merriam-Webster there is no such word) to find out that according to their records I was at work. Then they hung up on me. So I called back. 10 more minutes on hold and then the same conversation. And again they tell me I am back at work....and again they hang up on me. We were having a civil exchange of words so I don't think it was deliberate or in anger. But it happened. So I tried calling back again but unfortunately, we have two phone lines and the other line rang and it was Kaiser and I don't like missing calls from Kaiser. So I gave up on that call and took the call from Kaiser. It seemed that Friday wasn't going to be my day on the phone so I decided to try again on Monday, even though they claim that Mondays and Tuesdays are the worst days to call (or Wednesday through Friday between 10 and 2) Reminds me of the time we were in Yugoslavia in 1973 trying to get a visa to visit Albania. Their Visa office hours were something like the 4th Thursday of each month between 10 a.m. and 10:05 a.m except in months that end in r or y when they are open on the third Tuesday from 2:o5 p.m. to 2:08 p.m. Needless to say we never visited Albania. But I am wandering. This morning I got up bright and early, had my breakfast, gave myself my injection and sat down to be ready to call the disability people first thing at 8 a.m. My first call resulted in the recording saying they weren't open yet but my second call hit pay dirt! I only waited about three minutes and was connected to someone named Jake. I implored him not to hang up on me, gave him the spiel and asked him to go past, " you are reported to be back at work". He liked to sing, you could tell the way he hummed and tra-laed his way through his computer display and I felt this was a harbinger of good things. He got to the magic words that I was at work and I said, so why does it say that? A few moments later he gave me the "good" news. Someone had started to input that I wasn't to receive payments for spring break. Fair enough. I don't get paid for spring break when I am not at work. But they hadn't input that spring break was one week. So according to them I had been on spring break all this time! tee hee. So we straightened that out, I answered a couple of questions and Jake gave me the good news that I would be getting those checks that I missed. And he didn't once ask me accusingly why it took me so long to call them. He just did his job. And I thank him. Thanks, Jake!
A big thank you also to Didi for the Greek themed dinner last night. We loved it!

Chemo, chemo, chemo continued

Yesterday I had my blood tests and they were pretty good. I ate well the previous week, went to the gym and drank plenty of liquids. I'm sure it all helped. Also, I was a week longer away from chemo. Couldn't have hurt! So on to chemo #5. The next to the last chemo. whoo hoo!
I arrived at Kaiser at 8:30 in time for my pre-chemo doctor's visit. As I was weighed and measured (height, weight, blood pressure, temperature and oxygen level) the nurse's assistant explained that things might be a little strange and delayed today because Kaiser was introducing a new computer system and today was the first day for them in Chemo. Well, the same thing had been told to me the day before in the lab. And if anything, things went smoother than normal so I wasn't very concerned. Boy howdy, was that a mistake! After a nice visit with Dr. Liu, she took us over to the chemo side of oncology. We waited for her to figure out if we should be brought in or wait in the lounge. Lounge it was. Then a nurse came for us and I chose the chair I always sit in. I don't know why it is so important to me, but I feel best when I can see what the nurses are up to at their computers, I have an easy trip to the restroom and I can see who is coming and going. Again I got the same spiel about the new system and how they were a little behind and still learning. I noticed that there was a huge team of spectators from whom I assumed was the software company, observing the chaos of the chemo room. I haven't ever felt this way before. Normally, there is a quiet calm surrounding the dozens of patients who come in for their treatments. The protocals are meticulously followed. Each patient is carefully identified, each medication is gone over with the patient, each step of the way is carefully announced verbally and documented on the computer. Today, I ended up being very concerned. The nurses were doing their best. It was the first day of the new system. It seemed as if they hadn't actually been prepared for the changeover and were constantly having to repeat input with scanners and keyboards. Most of the stuff that was done at the patient's side normally was done across the room at the desktop computers. I never felt that I was sure that the meds I was getting were mine. I finally asked the nurse to identify all the bags of liquids because it seemed like there were more than I normally received. But that was because I forgot the pepcid. So it was okay but I had to ask and that had never happened before. I also had to wait for the pharmacy to okay and send over the drugs. It took much longer than normal. I assume they were experiencing the same learning curve on their side of the building that we were in chemo. So things started getting backed up. My drips sometimes started beeping and there was no one to check to see if the bag was empty or there was a kink in the line. Usually someone comes over right away to check. Then patients started coming in and taking chairs that had already been assigned to other patients. Tempers started flaring. Patients started threatening to go home. I was beginning to feel a bit stressed because the double booked chair was right next to me and people weren't happy and weren't afraid to let the nurses know. The nurses, to their credit, did their best to assuage the feelings of the troubled patients but it still affected the atmosphere of the room. And me. I read a little and slept a little. But it just didn't feel good this time. I'm sure my next visit will be just fine as they get used to the new system but today was not fun. One note. I put a lidocaine cream over my port each time I have chemo to deaden the pain as they put the needle into the port. I wonder why I bother. I always feel it. It is much more painful than a regular transfusion needle so I wonder if my lidocaine isn't any good or if I put it on too early or too late. Just wondering. When my drip was all finished, the machine beeped and beeped. My nurse was trying to get another patient going and didn't hear the beep. No one else paid attention. Finally I told another nurse that if they were really short chairs someone could have mine. All I needed was to be disconnected from the drip lines and have the needle removed from the port. This was an offer they couldn't turn down. I was released from the chair and off I went to George's for a burger and fries. Then back to Kaiser where I picked up my neupogen from the one pharmacist clerk at Kaiser who has never learned to smile or make a nice comment like "thank you" or "have a nice day". I could hear the nice pharmacist's clerk in the back, helping train someone on the new system. Sigh.
Oh, one thing I should add. During my visit with Dr. Liu, I asked her when we would be able to know how much cancer this chemo was killing. She looked kind of surprise and told me I had forgotten one thing. As far as they are concerned, all the cancer was gone after the surgeries. This chemo is just to make sure it doesn't come back. So when people ask me about my health, I guess I'm not lying when I say I am just fine. And I don't have to say, except for the cancer. Because in Kaiser's opinion, I am cancer free. I hope I understood her correctly.
When I got home I slept for three hours and then had a lovely chicken and rice from math teacher Kevin at WCI. There are three Kevins on staff at WCI! Yum, yum, just what the doctor ordered.
So, now I am down to one chemo heavy left and then nine months of chemo light. And of course, the radiation which will, hopefully, start about this time next month. We will see.

yippee skippy!

Chemo, chemo, chemo! More to follow.

Lidless in suburbia

Okay, this is just a short post to pose a significant question the answer of which will decide the fate of the universe. Why do I have lids without containers and containers without lids?

My weekend continued

Saturday Andy and I drove out to Livermore to see about a new kitchen. Call us crazy. This may not be the best time to redo the laundry room and kitchen but if not now, when? The company we visited could put a plan together quickly and make the bid in a matter of moments. They had the cabinets and counter tops on display so it was fun choosing stuff. But after they printed out the plans and made the bid, Andy and I started dreaming a little bigger and now have completely different ideas for the kitchen. And the laundry room is almost out of the picture now. And now Leah has made a suggestion that we hadn't thought of for the laundry room and we may have to talk to Dennis about moving things around again. It is fun planning and playing around with ideas. We have talked about redoing the kitchen ever since we moved into this house in May, 1988. Every time we got close to doing something about it, something else came up. Bat Mitzvahs, medical bills, college tuition, condo down payments. But, it looks like this time we might do it. I am so excited.
After our journey to Livermore we drove into Berkeley to meet Steve's mom, Marci, who was visiting from Syracuse. We had a great hour or so at the Bateau Ivre chatting about this and that and getting to know one another. Then it was back to Walnut Creek and a rousing evening of Eureka. If you haven't watched this show I recommend it. Look it up on Netflix or watch it on the Science Fiction Channel. We love it!
Sonia, Steve and Marci attended a Bat Mitzvah at Beth El in Berkeley Saturday morning. This morning we were invited to the Bat Mitzvah's home for brunch before taking Sonia and Steve to the airport. We got to meet Steve's cousins and an Aunt and it was interesting and fun to learn more and more about Steve's extended family and friends. After dropping the happy couple off at the airport I attended a Chabad Women's Circle event, Spa for the Soul. The food was catered by our rabbi and the desserts were by Lynn, our resident chocolatier extraordinaire. If you haven't had one of her chocolate peanut butter balls, you haven't lived. The keynote speaker, Esther Hadassa Loewenthal, came all the way from New York to make her stimulating presentation which centered primarily on nutrition and health. She was joined by Betsy Shandalov, a local OT and yoga instructor and Catherina Vaucheret also a local, who is a personal fitness instructor. The panel discussion was lively and instructive. I think everyone who attended found something to which she could relate. My energy started flagging before the event ended so I came home early to find Andy busy planting in our garden. He has really put a lot of work into the garden this year. We have vegetables, new roses and lots of potted flowers growing all over the yard. The garden is really beginning to have a personality. And when the fountain is going, with the lavender scenting the air, it feels like nirvana.
Thank you to Carol and her daughter for bringing us a yummy Chinese dinner tonight. We are feeling so spoiled.
Now I am ready to drop. I am really trying to take it easy so my numbers will be just right this week. Now I think I will just go sit and rest.

Of a daughter's visit and a cherry tree

Wednesday brought more than just a cancelled appointment with chemo. But rather than bad news it was a happy occasion. Our daughter Sonia and her boyfriend Steve came into town for a bat mitzvah and visits to Stanford and UC. We enjoyed dinner with them at Bings on Thursday night. Even though it is a short visit we are very happy to see them.


This week I have been sending mental messages to my body encouraging the platelets and white blood cells to behave and get to their proper numbers. I'm hoping that will do the trick. But we will see what we will see.

Thank yous to my friends who have delighted us by bringing dinners this last week. Thank you to Carol for the delectable eggplant parmigiana and to Denise for the scrumptious falafel and dolma medley from Babalous! I can't tell you how much these meals mean to Andy and me. I also would be remiss if I didn't thank my young friends Keeson and Bailee for picking the cherries from my cherry tree this week. I was afraid that the jays, squirrels, and raccoons were going to be the only beneficiaries of the tree's bountiful crop this year. But fortunately for me, these two resourceful young people managed to climb the tree and harvest the cherries. The cherries are deep red, really plump, and full of flavor. We've been feasting on them since harvest day.

And so another week comes to an end. Next week is the last week of school. It feels strange not to be part of the last-minute scurry to get the inventory done. I sort of miss that adrenaline rush as I try to figure out where the last 50 books are that are missing from the inventory. No parents are frantically calling me to find out how much their children owe in lost-book fines. Well, Liz will take care of all that this year, and next year I will get my turn again.

Fun, adventure, disappointment

Last Saturday I had the best day ever! Bright and early I drove from Walnut Creek through San Francisco to Daly City and the Cow Palace. I arrived at the same moment my friend Annabel did. We were both headed to the Camp Store for the AIDS/LifeCycle event. We got to the Cow Palace about 8 a.m. and signed in at the volunteer booth where we were issued spiffy VOLUNTEER shirts. Then we wandered over to the store and met up with Allen with whom I walk and run. The store was set up for the people who would be heading out the next day for Los Angeles on their bicycles, riding in support of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. AIDS/LifeCycle is co-produced by the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and is designed to advance their shared interest to end the pandemic and human suffering caused by AIDS. Saturday was the day for the riders and roadies to complete their registrations, view a safety video, get their tent assignments and check out the camp store. 545 miles of California roadways would pass beneath their bicycle tires between Sunday morning and the following Saturday where they would end their journey in the L.A. Coliseum. In the store where Annabel and I would be working (along with another dozen or so volunteers) they could purchase jackets, jerseys, socks, tee shirts and lots of cute tchotchkas. And there were premiums for those riders and roadies who had raised a significant amount of money. After familiarizing ourselves with the merchandise, learning how to use the credit card machine and getting a little training on other matters, the doors opened at 10 a.m. and the rush was on. It was a constant stream of riders and roadies without letup until about 2 o'clock. We did get a break for lunch but there was so much excitement in the air it was hard to stay away from the activity for more than a few minutes. The riders and roadies were so nice, so excited and so eager to be on their way. They had prepared for this adventure for months, the riders training and fundraising and the roadies just fundraising. All the roadie's work would along the route, setting up and tearing down the camps each day, putting up the showers, setting up the kitchens, cooking the meals and putting on a performance every night. And they also support the riders along each day's ride, making sure the riders don't get lost, keeping up their spirits and providing assistance with anything that might come up during the ride. I haven't done the LifeCycle or been a roadie but it is certainly inspiring to watch the videos on YouTube and read the blogs of some of the participants. It really makes one want to be a part of it. Well, I guess I was in my own small way, helping at the camp store, but someday, someday, I hope I can be a roadie or do the ride.

We left the store about 4 p.m., leaving the folks who would tear down the store and set up for the ride out the next day. It was a very satisfying experience and I am truly glad I could help.

Sunday I was pretty wiped out from the day before but when Monday came along I was ready for a new adventure. My friend Mary invited me to join her for a drive down to Big Sur. Her sister Ann lives in a lovely wooden home on a mountainside overlooking the coastline. We left home about 10:30 and after a false start (okay, I forgot my purse) we were on our way. Along the way we caught up with some of the AIDS LifeCycle riders and parted ways with them at the King City turnoff. Then we proceeded on to Carmel and had lunch at a charming Swiss cafe called Lugano. From there we drove along the coast to Ann's house were we chatted, I napped and we had delightful dinner and a nice long talk. I got to hear all about the fire last summer that devastated a lot of the Big Sur area and narrowly missed Ann's house. Ann also told us all about her adventures visiting her daughter and family in Africa. After a very comfortable night's slumber we had breakfast, and shared more stories. Then Mary and I headed back to Walnut Creek and Alamo. But not before we stopped at San Juan Bautisita for lunch and ice cream. I had a wonderful time. It was a great break from the quotidian stuff I've been experiencing lately.

Then the disappointment. After returning from Big Sur, I needed to go to Kaiser for my blood tests. I checked out the results online (Kaiser is very good about getting the results posted right away) and the numbers didn't look great but I didn't hear from my physician so I figured everything was okay. Then the next day, 5 minutes before I was to leave for my doctor's appointment and chemotherapy, I got a call from the clinical trials nurse. She told me that the numbers weren't good and I would have to postpone my chemo until the following week. Sigh. It was disappointing and a little frustrating. This puts off the finish of my treatment by a week. That postpones the beginning of my radiation. And that throws off the rest of my chemo light which was timed nicely so I could go to Honolulu in December. Now I'm not sure what will happen. But I'm not going to worry about it because if there is one thing I am learning through all this it is that you really can't count on anything. Things will happen, there will be twists in the path and detours in the journey. But I truly believe that it will all work out in the end.