I had a lovely walk on Saturday with my running friends. I don't know what I would do without them. They are such wonderful friends. And then on Sunday another terrific walk with Didi. Thank you all for keeping me fit!
Today was a Kaiser day. Andy and I met with the clinical trials nurse who once again went over the chemotherapy drugs I would be getting and their side effects. She included the Avastid which I began to think meant that I would be betting the extra ingredient in my cocktail. She then backed up and said no, my random number came up and it was no Avastid. I have to say I was a bit disappointed. But it was like when they had to use 4 needles in my arm for the polio vaccine. Daddy just told me I was doing great and to keep on being a brave girl. So I decided that disappointment just was a useless emotion and to get over it. I'm doing great and I'm still brave. Just fewer drugs to be brave about. I think I have gotten over it.
It was fun getting all the attention from all the different staff members. First the clinic nurse who weighed me. Of course it was wrong. I couldn't possibly have gained weight in the last couple of weeks. Just because I find excuses to keep eating out. Doesn't eating out food have fewer calories than home cooked meals? I'm sure I read that somewhere....
After I got weighed I spoke to the clinical trials nurse. When she was done I saw the oncologist who gave me a brief physical and wrote out some of the prescriptions I needed. She couldn't prescribe all of them because I hadn't had my height measured and the trials nurse needed that as well before she calculated the doses of some of the meds I needed. When I was done with the oncologist, we went back to have my height measured and I was thrilled to find out I am still a tad over 5'5" tall. I had been measured a few years ago and the nurse at that time told me I was only 5'4.5" and was losing bone mass. Obviously the measuring device was not accurate! From there I went down to the lab with another nurse who is a trials coordinator. The trials coordinator said she mostly does the paperwork for the clinical trials. But she had to observe the drawing of the blood. When that was over I went back up to the pharmacy where my anti-nausea pills and my lidocaine creme were waiting for me. I had to start taking the anti-nausea right away so I took two. Then there was a question about the creme because the pharmacist asked if I had the saran-like covering to wear over the cream that goes over my port so it absorbs better. No one had given me any but when I called the trials nurse she came right down with it. Then she gave me some advice that I decided to follow. She directed me to go to the Cheesecake Factory and get a piece of Key Lime Cheesecake. You can't ignore a nurse's orders. At least I can't. So after we went home and had lunch, I went to Barnes and Noble, got a book and a magazine for Wednesday and then went over to Cheesecake Factory. There I conscientiously got the cheesecake to take home. After inhaling the scrumptious slice of heaven I decided it was time to listen to my guided imagery CD. It is so calming and relaxing. It talks about a golden fountain that I am connected to that fills my body with a golden potion that will surround and devour the cancer cells. It is accompanied by very hypnotic music. I love listening to it. And so I did. After an hour or so of that I listened to Tina Turner and her Talk to My Heart. I love that piece. And watching her and her back up group perform! They are just amazing! Thanks, Allen!
Then we went to our shul for our Purim celebration. It is so much fun! This year we had an Indian theme and a number of us wore salwar kameeses or saris. Our rabbi and another friend (male) wore men's wedding suits with the tall turbans. They were absolutely stunning. No lie. I wish we always dressed like that. The ladies outfits are so comfortable. And no matter what shape your body is, you look good in a sari or a salwar kamees. So we read the Megillah, the Book of Esther, and then ate Indian food. More good food and good company.
Tomorrow I go in at 9 for my first chemotherapy treatment. I am so ready for this. I'm not scared, just curious and eager. I think I started getting a little tense this afternoon. My neck was feeling a little stiff. But after listening to the guided imagery CD all the tension flowed away and all was serene.
So if you are reading this on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, think positive thoughts in my direction. I will be carrying those good thoughts with me into the therapy room. Thank you all for all the truly kind and encouraging notes, cards and emails you have sent me. You cannot imagine how touched I am by them. I am so very blessed with the friends I have made. I love you all.